The impending doom

From tomorrow to the 30th, I will be spending 21.5 hours furiously writing. 5 subjects. 10 papers. It's a downbeat thought, and the possibility of failure and the need to start all over again makes it all the more foreboding. I feel so unprepared but I am ready to face the consequences. It would take a miracle for me to get decent enough grades for the big three universities in Singapore.

Choosing the "A" Levels route only means one thing for me. Cram all I can within this two years and then apply the knowledge to answer the questions during examinations, just to obtain those grades for universities. It is the most rigorous and meaningless exams for me. I'm studying for the sake of choose a course to read in university. I mean, for those aiming for FASS, there are hardly any prerequisites because the subjects would be completely new to me. Would the content knowledge (not skills) I learned in YJC be relevant in university? Sigh... At least there would be some degree of familiarity for Science students...

Private universities have never crossed my mind because I doubt the value of an external degree obtained via coursework in Singapore. With competitors armed with a degree from NUS/NTU/SMU, I can't imagine entering the workforce with a qualifications from some random private institutions. I don't look down on people studying in such institutions because they have no choice. I mean, the indicative grade profiles for the universities are insane! No more "dumping" courses. Why are my fellow peers such over-achievers? Sigh.

And of course I don't want to go to a polytechnic to get a diploma. The 2 years in JC would be a waste.

Everyone's been expecting me to perform well. I'd feel so bad letting so many people down if I got shitty grades. Anyway if this really happens, I'll choose to repeat JC2 and get good grades. (Singlish outburst: I SUMPAH THAT ONE YEAR CONFIRM ENOUGH!) I'll feel pretty shitty, having to tell people that I retained in JC :( But why make myself unhappy by taking a course I'm uninterested in in a private institution?

My fellow peers who are taking the 'A' Level Examinations 2010, GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST. Everyone says they're the toughest examinations in our lives, followed by our driving tests! And YJCians, remember, POST-PROM PARTY!

[wonders if anyone actually reads this crap]

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ;
But you won't do the same